Friday, April 25, 2008

Excited and a little sadness

I am up quite late tonight. I asked my mom and sisters if they would go to the BYU Women's Conference with me on May 1 & 2 and they said yes, except Kati she can not take off of work since she will be getting married soon and needs the time for her honeymoon. I think honeymoon's are over rated anyway. Just kidding Kati. I am so excited to go to the conference. I am not looking forward to the drive but it will be good to spend time with my sisters. When Azure passed away we decided to take a girls trip every year and we decided this would be a great way to start. There are so many classes being offered it is hard to narrow it down but I think I have most of them picked out. I am really looking forward to be fueled with spiritual enrichment. At the same time the last couple of days have been a little hard. Azure's little boy Eric turns one on Saturday and it makes me sad to know she will not be there in body to celebrate it with him. Being a mom I can not imagine not being able to share all of my kids birthdays with them. I know she will be there in spirit but at times I am filled with deep sadness because it is not the same. I am so grateful for the Atonement and the teachings and blessings of the gospel. I can not imagine not being a member and losing a loved one and not knowing that someday we will all be together again. That is what gets me through sometimes on days when her passing hits me and I remember I will not be able to see her or talk to her physically. I know that Brian and his new spouse Ginger will make it a special day for him. Happy Birthday Eric. I wish I could be there to celebrate with but your cousins have baseball games. When you get older you will have to have them take you out and play catch. I love you little guy.